February 22, 2008

2-fer’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

We have four cats....not on purpose, I really don't like cats very much. The reason we have four cats is a boring story and doesn't matter a whole lot. What does matter is that one of them is abnormally large, black, poofy and named 2-fer. He's a baby kitty (if baby kitty means a 6 mo. old mammoth sack of cat fat) and yesterday I gave him a good washin'....not on purpose.
This is my story and I'm sticking to it.
We have a stackable washer and dryer system, front loading washer w/dryer on top, it's cool I love it. So yesterday I was washing a blanket and a small bathroom rug no big deal usual domestic goddess stuff. The wash was done so I took the blanket out and put it in the dryer without turning the dryer on, I was thinking I would put it back in the washer for another spin to try and get a little more water out of it after I hung the rug to dry. So that's what I did. I hung up the rug and put the blanket back in the washer, set it for the 15 minute spin/drain cycle and then went back to planning my dream vaca......I mean cleaning the toilet. 15 minutes later the washer buzzer goes off, I open the door, reach in to grab the blanket and 2-fer's soppy little head pokes out from the folds.
I was HORRIFIED (I stood there, feet glued to the floor with my hands over my gaping mouth) as I watched this poor little kitty practically ooze out of the washing machine and on to the floor, expecting at any moment to see some sort of terrible injury or for him to just be dead. Instead I floated above myself, mouth still agape as he staggered like a sailor on shore leave through the kitchen and into the living room where he plopped himself down on the floor in the sun and started to try to clean himself.
Then I took a couple of pictures....and maybe a short video. He was pitiful looking and the pictures just don't capture how miserable he was.
So here it is.....I am absolutely fucking amazed that that cat survived 15 minutes wrapped in a soggy blanket spinning at about 1300rpms and is for the most part completely unharmed. I was worried that maybe he had some kind of unseen injury and he was going to die during the night but he didn't. He's fine, he plays, he eats, he craps...totally fine. He even still likes me....yeah, like I was real worried about that. Anyway...so I almost killed the cat in a really awful and nightmarish way yesterday.
But I didn't.
He's super-fluffy and smells real good now....'mountain fresh'.